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Irish Pilots.

RyanAir Flight 101 was flying from Heathrow to Dublin one night, with
Paddy the Pilot, and Gerry the co-pilot.

As they approached Dublin airport, they looked out the front window.
"B'jeesus" said Paddy "Will you look at how f**kin short that runway is".

"Ya not f**kin kiddin, Paddy" replied Gerry.
"Tis is gonna be one a' the trickiest landings you are ever gonna see" said Paddy.
"Ya not f**kin kiddin, Paddy" replied Gerry.
"Right Gerry.  When I give the signal, you put the engines in reverse" said Paddy
"Right, I'll be doing tat" replied Gerry.
"And then you put the flaps down straight away" said Paddy
"Right, I'll be doing that" replied Gerry.
"And then you stamp on them brakes as hard as you can" said Paddy
"Right, I'll be doing that" replied Gerry.
"And then you pray to the Mother Mary with all a' your soul" said Paddy
"Right, I'll be doing that" replied Gerry.
So they approached the runway with Paddy and Gerry full of nerves
and sweaty palms.
As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Gerry put the engines in reverse, put the
flaps down, stamped on the brakes and prayed to Mother Mary with all of his sou l.
Amidst roaring engines, squealing of tyres and lots of smoke, the plane
screeched to a halt centimetres from the end of the runway, much to the
relief of Paddy and Gerry and everyone on board.
As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy looked out the front
 window and said to Gerry "Tat has gotta be the shortest f**kin runway I have EV
ER seen in my whole life".
 Gerry looked out the side window and replied "Yeah Paddy, and the f**kin widest
 too".